Your Toddler's Transitional Object
By Contributing Editor Pamela Gifford

My older son used to carry a stuffed cat, named "Kitty", around where ever he went.  That poor cat was dragged from Chicago to Little Rock and back again.  It has been left at restaurants, stores, and in the occasional rest room.  The kitty has even been left in a hotel near my aunt's house 500 miles away.  At that time, we had to have the "stand in", a similar stuffed cat called, "Kitty's Brother", to help ease the panic that set it when he realized he left his Kitty in the hotel room.  Thankfully, my aunt mailed Kitty back to us that week.

My husband, being the man's man he is, wasn't too thrilled with the idea of his son carrying around a stuffed cat.  He would have rather had him carry a teddy bear.  But as long as my son was happy (and not screaming at the tops of his lungs) that was more important. 

Kitty was my son's transitional object.  A transitional object is, simply put, an object that your toddler can't seem to live without.  It's the object he carries with him as a means of realizing that he is becoming less dependent on Mom.  As he realizes that he is his own person, separate from Mom, he begins to rely on an object to fill the void he feels.  This is also known as a security object, something that makes him feel secure and at home, even if he's away from home.

Some toddlers have strange transitional objects.  While most of these objects are in the form of a blanket or stuffed animal, other parents have told me about their children's security objects which would make heads turn.  Among the items were plastic eggs, clean cloth diapers, one of Daddy's shoes, a pair of Daddy's pants, and a plastic biscuit.

What possesses these children to have completely off the wall security objects?  Perhaps there is a good memory related to it, something that we adults may not ever understand.  Perhaps it is just something the child associates home with that is easy to carry around.   For whatever reason, it is best to let them carry whatever they wish (within reason, of course).  To take away a transitional object for the sake of vanity can leave your toddler feeling anxious. 

You can try to steer them onto a different transitional object by gently introducing something different but don't be surprised if they reject it and hold on to the object of their choice.